Monday -- Alaska Letters

                Ok, so here’s my update on Day One of Alaska Adventure.  Got to the airport promptly at 6, and Marcus arrived at about 6:30.  Because Marcus is a big shot or whatever, we got to go through the TSA pre-check with the DoD and military people, so I didn’t have to get a full body scan which was cool.  And security was just really fast.  Also, I brought my flat iron (despite the fact that I’ve given it up) to act as a cover for the fact that I was taking my pepper spray in my carry on.  So that was cool, sneakin’ shit around and whatnot.

                Then everything was pretty much normal airport stuff, I had a little time to go grab a chai latte (and a cup of water) which was a bad choice because I had my giant pink tote, a huge North Face, my drag-a-long suitcase and now two cups to carry.  I made it through alright, and even though the boarding lady gave me some flack about my bag not fitting in the overhead, I just took it with me anyway, and it totally fit.  Like I’m gonna wait for all my panties and shit to show up in Dutch whenever it gets there.

                The flight was cool, I had plenty of room because the other lady was in a window seat.  Going up to Anchorage means that there were a lot of fairly salty looking people, and I expect that a lot of them were fishermen.  Got a fruit and cheese plate that had some brie.  I don’t like brie.  And I don’t know if you’re supposed to eat the rind or not, but I did, and I don’t like brie.  No wine and cheese parties for me.

                When we arrived in Anchorage, you could see the meringue mountain tops for miles as we approached, and then as we descended into Anchorage it got really super flat.  It’s like flat right up to the edge of the mountains, at right angles.  Horizontal then vertical.  The trees don’t seem that big around Anchorage either, which is kind of weird.

                So Marcus and I went up to the board room fancy place, which was pretty cool.  They had a Starbucks coffee machine that made your latte, steamed your milk and even made the layers of coffee/milk coffee/milk.  And they had all the flavor drizzles.  And a pancake machine (a machine!).  It spit little pancakes off the conveyer belt.  It was very fancy.

                Downstairs where the lay-people were waiting for their flights, they had on CNN, but up in the board room they had Fox News on.  Interesting much???  I also met a woman who used to be the mayor of Dutch Harbor, and I guess she’s just the world’s most knowledgeable, fierce ladies out there.  So that’s cool.  I don’t remember her name.  Marcus said that when he wants to see old friends, he just goes to the airport in Anchorage.

                Marcus was on the 12:30 PenAir little plane to Dutch, and I was a sure thing for the 3:45, but they had a few seats available on his flight, so when he went to check in, I went too to see if I could get on.  Sometime between when we had the board room ladies call to see if there was room, and when we got down there an hour or so later, I was confirmed on the 12:30.  Which is great of course.

                So we grabbed some sandwiches that said they were Quiznos, which makes me wonder if Alaska just hasn’t heard that Quiznos went out of business…  They were premade sandwiches, but they were pretty good, though I should have gotten the chipotle chicken like Marcus did.

                I guess flight times for PenAir are sort of suggested.  Our flight was for 12:30, but we didn’t even get out on the tarmac until almost one.  But pretty promptly we got in the air, which was cool.  Everyone who I’ve talked to agrees that I’m crazy that I felt more comfortable in the little plane than in the big jets.  But I feel like one of the ends is going to snap off of a big jet, and besides, commercial big plane pilots seem much more willing to take all of us out with him.  I don’t know.  I also had a fairly non-confrontational flight, as far as traumatic, death-defying flight nonsense.

                I got seated right next to this guy who fishes for Alaskan Ocean, doing Pollock.  I didn’t find this out until we all got off the plane and suddenly got chatty.  I guess once we lived through the flight, we could start talking to each other.  It was ridiculously loud, and they gave everyone earplugs, so that probably quashed a lot of talking.  The interesting thing about this guy was that he had no fingers (how does he fish??).  It looked like frostbite amputations, because he was missing every fingertip except his left thumb from the first knuckle on.  I felt very bad for this guy.  He was Alaska Native I think, because before the flight he was talking on the phone in a non-Asian, non-Spanish language.

                Anyway, the flight was not terrible, but it took three times longer than it was supposed to.  It was supposed to be a 2 hour and 45 minute flight, but it took almost six hours.  We got all the way to within 30 minutes of Dutch at like, Crystal Cove, or Cove Bay or somewhere like that, where we were supposed to refuel, but their tarmac was completely shut down.  So we flew all the way back to King Salmon (like an hour away) to refuel there (don’t ask, I don’t know why, and it has been explained to me.).  So we take 15 minutes to refuel, I pee in the tiniest bathroom ever, find out our stewardess (who was on quite the power trip and wouldn’t let No Fingers move up a row even though there was no one there “for weight”.) used to be an EMT/safety supervisor at Westward Seafoods.  Alaska is a tiny place.

                After we fueled up again, we flew back out to Dutch, and circled like three times trying to get a good opening in.  It was really cloudy, so he was dodging pretty good winds and very low visibility.  Finally we landed, but I guess we were this close to flying all the way back to Anchorage.  I would have died.  I was so done being in that plane.  And I finished one of my three books already, and I’m concerned that I’m going to finish them all before I make it all the way back home.

                But once we were in Dutch, Tim met us at the airport, and we grabbed a rental truck, and Tim gave me a phone, and we checked in at The Grand Aleutian.  I told the check in lady about Cooking with Sarah Palin, and she knew Jenna Marbles but hadn’t seen it, and she thought I was just hilarious.  People definitely laugh very easily here.

                We didn’t get into the nice hotel, because there are two concurrent conferences going on, so we went down the street to Harbor View (which involved driving right through a competitor’s fish processing plant, which is weird.).  It’s ok, it’s like a low rate motel.  I don’t have a roommate, which is a relief.  We dropped our stuff off there.  On our way down, we went to the Alaska Ship Supply across the street and grabbed me some ExtraTuffs (giant rubber boots, if I can I’ll bring them home so you can see them.  They are ridiculous.).

                While I was on the plane trying to take a nap, I woke with a jolt and realized that I had forgotten to pack my most essential of all travel items.  This stands as a testament to how much I have changed already.  *sigh*  I forgot my tooth brush.  Oh the humanity!  So we grabbed one of those at the Alaska Ship too.  Alaska Ship Supply is like a non-name brand Wal-mart.  Shit is SO expensive here.  My boots were $106.  They increased by $10 per shoe size.  It was crazy.

                So I put on my boots, and some more pants cause it’s cold, and Marcus and I go over to the plant to see Tim and the Chelsea K before it leaves to go fishing.  As soon as I step out, I gag like three times, because it’s not normal fish smell, it’s this horrible rank like, rancid blood smell.  It’s the most horrible thing ever.  So horrible.  I wish I could bottle it for you so you could smell how horrible it really is.  It’s horrible.  We parked right next to the chum area, so I guess that made it worse.  Dear God.

                We walked around and went to the Chelsea K, which was moored up at the dock.  Mom, forgive me, but it was the world’s longest drop down to the ocean, and I stepped right over it.  God.  I lived though.  The boat is one of our biggest, and most complicated.  Jose (Joe-zay, cause he’s Portugese) is in Portugal right now visiting family, so Chris Franulovich (fran-ula-vi-CH) is running the boat.  Everyone seems super nice, and I got a whole tour.  I didn’t take any pictures, because there are so many giant engines you can take pictures of.  They have the same one as the Alaskan Command, so it was old hat to me.  I got to ask questions about stuff though, because I had already seen the other boat, so I felt like I was being impressive with my knowledge.

                They have like, 20 different screens in the bridge displaying different things.  It’s fairly organized actually.  Jose is apparently a creature-comfort kind of guy, because he’s got an espresso machine in the bridge, he just bought super nice home-theater-style chairs (a whole row of them) for the galley, and made a storage room in the mid-level into a gym.  There’s an elliptical, and a rowing machine (slightly ironic) and a tv in there.  It’s pretty cool.

                After that, I said hi to Tony Donovo on the Caitlin Ann, and that boat is one of our little ones, and it’s pretty cute.  Marcus said I would think it was cute, and it’s true, cause I do, and it looks exactly like what you imagine a boat should look like.  Like a toy boat.  The Chelsea K is the only one in our fleet that was intended to be for Pollock fishing for our plant when it was built, and all our other boats are retrofits from other industries.

                We went and checked out Tim’s office in the plant, which was pretty messy.  Like way worse than Elizabeth’s office ever was.  We have to get him some new furniture (I don’t know if that will happen while I’m here or after), but I’m here to kind of put in the plan, get him some window coverings so people quit bugging him, and help him sort through all the junk in there.  There is a whole row of banker boxes that are completely full, and we’re not even sure what they are.

                After we checked out his office, I got much own truck.  Since the Chelsea K is going to be out for like five days fishing, I’m driving their truck.  It’s very fussy about unlocking and also starting, but it works fine.  I’m a big girl.  We all drove over to The Grand Aleutian for dinner, and it was so incongruous because dinner was SO fancy, with waiters in white button ups and food on platters and whatnot, and we’re all in there in our ExtraTuffs and stuff.  It was very weird, but SO good.  I had a wedge salad with candied pecans, bacon, bleu cheese crumbles and balsamic vinegar ($9) and a bleu and bacon filet mignon (the only kind of steak they really had) with balsamic reduction, bleu cheese compote, and sautéed vegetables.  I died.  The steak was so good.  I didn’t even chew it, it just melted.  It was so good.  $36.  It was RIDICULOUS.  Marcus said I would have to get over it, or just go hungry.  I was so shocked by the prices.

                Dinner was on a little inlet on the island called like, Margot Bay or something like that.  It was beautiful.  Everything was so incredible.  The menu said that all dishes were served with “an appropriate starch, and seasonal vegetables.”  Which just cracked me up, because what in the hell is an inappropriate starch?  Marcus and Tim do NOT get my sense of humor, because they tried to explain to me that you don’t eat potatoes with fish, and that you also have to kind of eat whatever is available in Dutch at the moment.  Which I found extremely patronizing, and I will get them back later.

                Tim told me that the original plan had been to take me straight to the Chelsea K before the hotel, and while I was touring the boat, go and put all my stuff in an estate room and then shove off before I realized what was happening.  But I guess the weather is going to be pretty rough, with 18 foot seas and 30-40 knot winds, so they decided not to make me completely miserable.  And they are going north east pretty far, so it would have been most of my week.

                So yes, that’s all very funny.  I’m glad it did not happen.  But I guess they eat really well on the Chelsea K, so that part would have been nice.

                Anyway, I’m sorry this took so long to get to you, I’ve got to go find Marcus and Tim and figure out what I’m going to be doing today.  I’m throwing on my fishermen’s sweater, because dear God, what else would you wear!  Talk to everyone again soon, I’ll e-mail this as soon as I can.

                LOVE YOU ALL!!!